Ry’s Blog

I got an urgent email from Mom and an instant message from one of my sisters. Somewhat randomly, I decided to spend about 20 hours in Phoenix.

I spent the extra $40 for a first-class seat, and spent the entire trip down taking pictures.

Once there, I found my way to the VA hospital and spent a few hours with my uncle Bob.

I arrived well before visiting hours, but the nurse allowed that time was short and I could visit. We spent hours chatting about this and that; frank discussions about life and death were had. I think his wife wasn’t up to Bob and I discussing with such candor the end of life and the humor we found therein; the time was spent on wide-ranging and ribald topics such as comparative spectrum analysis (his urine went from cranberry juice in color to peach water and back a few times) and his inability to pass all of the food he’d eaten over the last few days. He’s been living a healthy lifestyle for the last fifteen years or so; I think his pending death freed him to eat things he enjoys, like pizza and messy burritos. Certainly, his state had no impact on his ability or desire to eat. It was technically interesting to see how much fluid the body can process when it is freed of consuming it; he was on his fifty fourth or fifth half-gallon bag of saline since Thursday when I got there, and he went through several more when I was there.

Seeing Bob a shadow of his former self was hard. Bob used to be tall, muscular, and full of quiet power; his baritone could deliver loud jokes or quiet support as he desired. While Bob’s voice is mostly intact, his body has failed him. I think I could have picked him up with one arm and carried him out, had I wished; I am certain he could not have stopped me, such is his diminished physical state.

Everyone I talked to about “the reason for my travel” was supportive and, I think, surprised; I get the impression that there aren’t a lot of visitors of any stripe at the VA hospital. I went with his wife and her son out to lunch, then to FedEx/Kinko’s. We picked and printed about 50 pictures from Flickr of my kids, my sisters, and my sister’s kid. Later, thinking about the hardship imposed by not having a credit card, I went to the Circle K and picked up some phone cards so that they could make long distance calls to try to find people. Mom asked that I try to find banana pudding for Bob, so I went on a quest for this substance; sadly, I started about 0000. The streets of Phoenix roll up around 2300; that Safeway and CVS and everything else are not open 24/7 was culture shock.

I talked with Bob’s wife around 0200 or so and made my way to the airport. Devoid of sleep, I ended up sleeping on the flight back; although I had a window seat, I didn’t take pictures as I had planned.

More on mortality and the fragility of life later.