Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Bill McHarold: Los Angeles back on the field after halftime with quite a point deficit they have to make up
Buck Tarland: It’s never good to be in this kind of deficit in this type of weather
Bill: that’s right Buck, this is brutal, this field is Swiss cheese filled with gun.
And here’s the snap, to Cleveland, the pressure, they’re bringing the pressure. Los Angeles is through the line
Buck: WHAP BOOM
Bill: and they’re down! the ball is loose! the ball is loose! All of the slop!
Buck: And it looks like LA recovers right in the rain. Referee is signaling LA ball
Bill: look at the look in his eyes, Buck. Look at the look in his eyes! That is the look of a man that knows he has to produce! On this next drive
Buck: yes, that’s why he’s putting his helmet on, he really should get on the field though. It really looks like the quarterback is already on the field while he is clearly just getting up. Let’s see us! there we are.
(Bill and Buck on screen)
Bill: there we go, you’re a beautiful man. And Billy Cole at the line
Buck: Line up behind the quarterback
Bill: here’s the snap. God look at that slop.
Buck: look at the way the quarterback dries his hands
Bill: This is real football weather! the kind where you can’t play football.
Buck: No time for excuses, Bill. You gotta win this game.
Bill: Los Angeles plenty of time in the pocket a forward pass to Billy Cole! wow
Buck: look at that, open field moves
Bill: this is what you call a running back
Buck: oh he should step out of bounds here, he’s definitely gonna be tackled. Does he have any moves left in him?
Bill: will Cole make it through?
Buck: taking a long time
Bill: can he make it? Can he put them within scoring range? And yes he can!
Buck: Oh my!
Bill: and that is a perfect shot, a Glock 29 is a solid choice in these weather conditions.
Buck: should be a penalty though
Bill: I’m not sure about that, Buck, I uh you might want to check the rule book on that one, because I think it’s a judgement call on the field.
Buck: Well, if I’m the coach of Cleveland, I’m definitely throwing the challenge flag on that
Bill: I’m not sure that’s a challengable call
Buck: that’s right, it would be a judgement call, wouldn’t it
Bill: take a knee, take a knee Cole. You did well.
Buck: don’t remove your helmet, that’s going to be a penalty.
Cole: Ain’t life a bitch!
(Cole blows out brains)
Buck: Oh God
Bill: that is definitely excessive celebration in the end zone
Buck: Celebration with a prop, as well
Buck: way to cost your team. Like my coach always used to tell me. It’s the end zone,
Bill & Buck together: act like you’ve been there before.
Misuse a handicapped placard, get a $1075 ticket. I had a former co-worker that had a placard for his mom; he used it for free parking all over downtown. Don’t know if he was ever busted for it.
Guy at Jack in the Box asked how I keep my beard so straight. Does it grow like that?
I think this was his bike.